How board exam results can quietly impact student mental health

In most households, the word ‘board’ is enough to change the emotional climate. Parents take leave from work, children step away from sports and other hobbies, anything apart from studying is seen as a ‘distraction’ and in all family gatherings, one question inadvertently asked is “Abhyas kaso challa?” (How are studies going on?)

Apparently, it is a concern for the children. For parents and elders, this may seem normal. However, this environment acts as a constant reminder that this period is critical and that they must meet expectations. Parents often say, “But we didn’t pressurise them,” and they genuinely believe so. In such cases, the pressure may not be directly imposed — it is often implied.

THE NEW NORMAL

Firstly, over the years, the idea of ‘doing well’ has undergone a drastic change. Scores once considered a matter of pride are now seen as ‘just average.’ When 95% becomes ‘normal,’ anything less begins to feel like a failure.

Over time, the definition of success has become narrower, which in turn triggers psychological threats — fear of disappointing others, fear of being seen as a loser, or being left behind — all of which have become increasingly common.

Worse, this perceived failure often feels irreversible, leading to deeper shame. Students may begin to feel that their worth is conditional — based solely on marks, ranks and grades.

HANDLE WITH CARE

Adolescence is a phase where self-image and self-worth are just being formed and are thus fragile. What children need at this point is connection and safety. What can parents do to support a child’s mental health?

Validate their feelings: “I can see how hard this must be for you. Are you okay?”
Connect before you correct: Stay with the child and be present before giving lengthy lectures on career and hard work.
Keep checking in: Let this not be a one-time conversation. Check in with your child to see if they are doing okay.
Seek professional help immediately: It’s okay not to know how to navigate this phase. There is help available.

BE ALERT

The days following the results are the most crucial. Distress is often not loud; it may look like withdrawal, increased screen time, crying spells or irritability. These changes are important to notice because, if left unaddressed, they may turn into something more serious.

Thoughts of failure, shame, and fear can sometimes lead to a desire for a lasting escape altogether — self-harm. We often hear about suicide cases after results and attribute them to ‘pressure’ or ‘low marks,’ while they are frequently about feeling alone in the moment, with no safe space to turn to.

In such moments, what children need is not advice or solutions (much to the disappointment of most adults), but empathy and presence.

These critical moments following the board exam results are among the most crucial for parenting. How we respond during this time shapes how children understand failure, success, and pressure. This not only protects a child’s confidence — but, we may end up protecting something far more important as well.

Neha Dukle is a practising psychotherapist associated with Antarman, Goa